‘Men are from mars and women are from Venus’ - This oft repeated proverb throws ample light on the inherent differences between the basic nature of a man and a woman.
Both the genders are genetically pre-disposed to certain opposing characteristics which can be quite reflective of their genders but which if not handled with wisdom and understanding can throw a spanner in their relationship. They view the world with their own separate perspectives. Some of the key indicators in which they differ in their communication skills are:
1. Purpose: Men believe the purpose of any discussion should be to reach to a solution. Any conversation which does not help to reach a goal or unearth the root of a problem is basically futile and senseless for them. Women, on the other hand, communicate to vent, to express, to rave, to rant , to share , basically treat it is as a tool to achieve intimacy with the partner.
2. Volume of Talk: Men tend to prioritize and sift things in their brain before opening their mouth. As a result, the unwanted details are filtered out and only the essentially required details are put forth. Economy and precision are the key notes of any discussion. That is why they suffer excessively when women go on and on about a topic which according to them could have been delivered with far more economy. Women, on the other hand view communication as a means to explore their thoughts, feelings and opinions and basically put forth everything that is on their mind, on the table. They do not feel the need to organize and plan their thoughts before venting forth because basically more than the solution the feeling of opening up before a partner provides them the much needed relief.
3. Reaction to Communication: Men are conditioned to react. So, the moment women open their mouth to vent out a problem, their mind starts organizing the details, wondering what best solution to offer her in the circumstances. They are active listeners, rather than passive ones. Women, on the other hand believe communication to be a means and end in itself. They do not seek a conclusion or solution so much as they seek validation of their feelings and thoughts. They provide emotional succour and respite rather than solutions.
4. Vent to Emotions: When the going gets tough, communication becomes one of the key tools to tackle things. However, while men would like women to process their emotions and channelize them proactively towards a solution, women like to process their negative thoughts by sharing and voicing them which helps to cleanse their mind and achieve some degree of rationality and peace.
5. The Silent Treatment: When men feel low or down in the dump, they would rather recede into their shell by focusing their mind on other things like reading, watching sports or movies or playing PUBG. Discussion seem intrusion to him at that point and he would rebuff all advances by the female partner to share his thoughts. Women, at such time feel neglected and inadequate and emotionally isolated. He might either like to nurture or pamper him or react defensively to cover up her own insecurities.
6. Breakdown of Communication: Men hate taking orders and instructions. They would like to remain in charge of operations and feel they are doing a capable job of it. They respond better, if instructions come to them in form of options and discussions rather than straight forward commands. Women, stop interacting when men keep telling them they are over-analyzing and over-thinking and basically making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Understanding these basic differences and working their way around it. is the key to achieve a more harmonious relations between man and woman.