This has been, by far the hardest introspection I have had to do in my life. Going into the past visiting and re-visiting my life from childhood to the adult years trying to figure out ‘the’ moment of success which I can define and relate needless to say, the quest has not been easy.
Success, for me has never been a moment, like many other people, I am sure. It has been a journey,a struggle to achieve that moment of peace, the moment of accomplishment, the feeling of knowing I have arrived and enjoy my place in the sun. The more I turned the pages of my past the more I stumbled upon each big or small accomplishment, which at that moment stood out like my moment in the spotlight. Till I moved on, encountered new struggles and the elation of that moment dissipated in the wake of new challenges. But isn’t that what life is about?
Was it when I found out I could read strings of sentences and enjoy the world of books much earlier than my counterparts or getting enrolled in the city’s best schools at the tender age of five, right after my father’s unexpected demise or making my mother proud throughout my school years by ranking high in academics , drama and sports. All those trophies, medals and certificates which then brought so much joy and cheer were relegated to the dusty cabins with the approach of adulthood and encounter with more relevant challenges. Cracking the tough competitive exams, landing a lucrative job were accomplishments nevertheless but did they define ‘the’ moment of success? I ‘m not sure, since isn’t something so momentous supposed to provide happiness that lasts more than just a passing moment.
So life moved on and I kept turning the pages frantically trying to pin down that one moment which would stand out as ‘the’ defining moment. Marriage happened, a shift to a faraway land, giving up on job, aspirations, ambitions and then the moment when my son was handed over to me in a distant land amidst strangers in harrowing circumstances after a 24 hour stay in NICU, much ahead of his time and all I could do was be grateful for this certainly was not my moment of success but certainly offered unlimited happiness and peace.
The search didn’t end here. Trying to pick up the pieces of my self-esteem , getting back to work slowly and steadily , carving my identity , and earning financial independence in limiting circumstances has certainly been a part of this successful sojourn and believe you me , this shall go on . Many more milestones await, many more accolades waiting to land, many more success stories waiting to be scripted.
I refuse to define ‘the’ moment of success in my life cause I believe that every moment needs to be celebrated and lived to the fullest and the moment I tag one single achievement as ‘the’ defining moment, my journey shall end there. I am far from hanging my boots, so early.